Are You Really Happy? Understanding Ourselves gives clear steps to healing from any chronic illness. Although the symptoms may vary, the process is the same.
- Explore your relationship with difficult emotions like fear, anger, guilt and depression and learn about how your past experiences affect your present life.
- Learn how to change the way you handle stressful situations, experience them as personal teaching tools for self empowerment instead of something to dread and avoid.
- Discover how to communicate with your Inner Child.
- Reparent the Inner Child and develop the kind of relationship you wish you could have had with your parents!
- Develop your Internal Witness so you can live in the here and now without the past overwhelming your present experiences.
- Learn to observe yourself and choose to respond rather than to react to situations you find yourself in.
- Learn how to find your personal truth, stand in your power and be your authentic self.
The book is sectioned into chapters that deal with different emotions and concepts that relate to living as a human being. Subtitles in the chapters break the points down into bite size chunks.
Journal work gives the reader practical written exercises to ground their understanding of the text and put what they learn into everyday practise in their lives to initiate positive change.
Have a look at what is covered in the book…
Table of contents
Introduction (an excerpt is here)
About the Journal Work
New Concepts Consciousness Scripts Charge Buttons Stuff Causal events Blah Projection The Feeling Body Back into the feeling body The Internal Witness What is the internal witness? The internal witness observes all the different parts of ourselves Developing the internal witness The Inner Child Alive and in control Nurture and parent the inner child Teddy Bear therapy Innocence Family of Origin Dysfunctional behaviour patterns Resolution Fear How to recognise Fear We all know fear Childhood fear Adult fear What does fear want to tell us? Authority figures The unknown Feel the fear take the risk Fear traps us into negative patterns of behaviour Conscious breathing keeps us in contact with our bodies Dark night of the soul vs remaining secure Techniques for dealing with a fear reaction The Shadow The shadow More consciousness to everyday living What do shadows look like? Some other shadow behaviours Early childhood memory recovery Dumping our shadow onto other people Taking a closer look at yourself Past life recovery Embracing the whole picture You Reclaiming you The person you need to love first How Can you expect others to love you if you don’t love yourself? The You factor Inviting the next growth spurt Personal power Buttons Hidden traumas that prevent you from living your life Example of buttons Reactions that indicate hidden trauma Things to be aware of in your recognition process Passive buttons Going overboard Inappropriate reactions? Unusual reactions Observe reaction change behaviour Doing a blah session How did I heal the past? Realizations that came from the past How did I deal with the present event with my partner? A warning If you find you are coping Anger What is anger? Negating our anger Expressions of denied emotions Recognising anger How does anger manifest – internally? Anger express – externally Powerful or powerless Repeats from the past Healthy expressions of anger Shouting is okay What are you angry about? Clearing the air Healthy Communication What’s a Script? Remove the Hooks Identify the Scripts Finding the patterns from the hooks Are you having a justified response to circumstances? How does our anger affect others? In what ways do you express your anger? Secondary processes with anger Analysis paralysis Using our anger constructively Dealing with other people’s expressed anger Dealing with other people’s suppressed anger Your anger wants to tell you something Hate Blame Accept responsibility for yourself Guilt Truth Finding inner truth When we meet we really meet Honesty is the best defence Confusion with words When people don’t want to hear the truth Three sides to every story Have no expectations Trust isn’t alway easy Owning our mistakes Responsibility Self responsibility means we don’t blame others Repetition How we learn Keep a journal to keep track Self Esteem What is self esteem? Acquiring self esteem Respect Relationships Patterns in relationships Learn to laugh at yourself Easy to get in – hard to get out The Fantasy of love Time to call it quits? Leaving our partners to fulfil ourselves Choice Unrequited love Intimacy = in-to-me-see Autonomy Unconditional love Ownership Rejection Rejection hurts Why am I rejected? Why do I reject? Is rejection really a projection? Communication Listening Tactics commonly used in arguments when youare not listening Active listening – how do we do it? Practise, practise Listening with our heads and our hearts How we say it can change the way someone hears it We are both okay Owning your experience of life True communication Labels Understanding our methods of communication Direct and indirect communication Definition of words Language Body language Sharing, a way of clearing the air No, you are not paranoid Psychic emotional sponges Asking for what you want Reality Three sides to every story Our expectations affect our realities The Mind A tool, not the master Mental health Depression Denial Are you in denial? Dreams Nightmares Dream interpretations Déjà vu Depression My first symptoms What causes depression? Where does depression comes from? The first sign of depression How long will it last? Depression is not a life sentence How do I change a lifetime of not being me? Replacing the space To medicate or not to medicate Self enquiry is the pinnacle of long term change Control Controlling ourselves Control of others Why do we allow others to control us? What does ‘Out of control’ mean? Letting go Letting go of concern for others The Internal Critic Never good enough The voices in my head Sabotage Say ‘no’ to the inner critic and saboteur Pain Pain is for transformation Nobody else causes our pain What does physical pain have to tell us? Grief Addictions Be gentle with yourself Vulnerability A new definition Secrets cause separation Resolution Resolution Conflict Role playing Forgiveness Facilitation Integrity What is integrity? Why is integrity so important? When we are in our integrity Integrity and truth Checking out the integrity of others Integrity towards yourself Intuition Relationships and integrity When what you want is not good for you Change Fear of changes stagnates you I truly desire happiness Creativity The natural flow of energy Living our dreams Source of joy Creative thinking Distractions Setting intentions Integration Get your selves together Disintegration Integration Healthy living Growth work Same sex groups for growth work Self healing work that I have done Moment by moment Living in the now What’s perfect? The perfect is Detachment from outcome Guru Why are we learning it all again if we already know it? Food for thought The new age Is there a higher power? How does praying help? Humour The beginning Afterword Appendix A Protection for you energy fields Appendix B Phobias and kinesiology Appendix C Two major illnesses – Two major life lessons Mental Illness Chronic Fatigue Syndrome My Dream Glossary Recommended Reading Index This is the journey you sign up for once you realize that you are not happy with the way you are living your life. When nothing you do, buy or consume fills that empty place inside you. These things I write about come from my own experiences and from listening to other people. I now realize if I’ve felt love, fear, anger, comfort and happiness, then most likely my fellow humans have also felt these feelings and, if I’ve had problems trying to work things out, maybe I’m not the only one. I consider myself to be a student of life… If the same lesson keeps appearing in my life, I stop and ask myself: what it is that I need to learn?… If I was in love, I was drugged out on the intense feelings. Joy, depression, sadness, paranoia, anger, you name it, I got lost in that emotion. …I found these constant ups and downs exasperating. Why was every feeling so overwhelming? Maybe everybody does not feel emotions to the extent that I do, but I certainly see evidence that people get overwhelmed by their emotions… I’ve learnt that life doesn’t have to be like that. We can learn to choose what we experience on an emotional level and still know that our emotions are not us and we are not our emotions. Emotions are there to tell us something but they are not the totality of life… …we can learn to stand back from our feelings and reactions, and ask ourselves the questions that enable us to learn and grow. …there is no need to keep choosing relationships that make us unhappy and assume that’s what love is all about… …I really had to question what I was looking for… I was looking for the relationship that was happy, one hundred percent of the time… Every emotional reaction I’ve ever felt seems to have a cord linked back to its own source. Part of my journey has been to find and heal the origin of emotional drama and work on improving my relationship with myself, hence improving my relationships with others… …Let the information in this book wash over you. You may only be able to read a very small amount at a time. Small doses are okay. This book is about the journey of life. One step at a time, one day at a time, one thought at a time. You may read one idea and want to cogitate on it, that’s fine… …Throughout the text, I have explained how I resolved my own problems. I’ve often sought the assistance of a professional therapist when life has felt too difficult… My intention is to live in my highest truth at every moment of the twenty-four hours I have in this day, and you can bet I’m not perfect but I know that whatever is happening, it’s for a reason that is perfect for me. The Perfect Is. Self discovery, is the journey home. Read a free sample chapter on depression.Introduction excerpt
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